Joshua Cain | Main

I’m currently 7 pages (A5) in to writing a book and although this could be seen as progress, I’ve been writing it for about 4 months now. - I do hope to continue it more over the summer, but I’m not completely sure that I will remember to. Nevertheless, what I’ve written so far, I’ve been told, is actually quite good. So long as I keep the apparent standard of my writing in this book to the same level, regardless of how many pages I may or may not produce, I will see it as a small victory.

Note: I now also have a ‘Blogger’ account (which is where I first wrote this post that I’ve then copied)

What I say and what I mean can sometimes be two different things. It’s not that I try to make some of my sentences cryptic or distorted, hoping that only certain people will understand, though this is a technique I do employ also, but rather the way that we word our speech seems to be more understandable to the packager of words than the receiver under some situations, and these situations seem to occur more with me than others.

While conversing with strangers or people I do not know, which can indeed be different things, I find that my words subconsciously become a lot simpler and spaced or slowed, helping me to judge their response without presuming that the way I have portrayed my line rather than what I have actually said has affected the reply. With friends, however, it seems that the percentage of understanding when it comes to what I say seems to vary amongst them, ranging from nervous laughs to full-length conversation, and I know or rather believe that this is entirely my fault.

I am not comfortable considering that a large amount of people know me to a large extent. I would much rather a select few knew me fully, and the rest knew enough that we could enjoy each other’s company. I tend to direct conversations towards the person with whom I am conversing regardless of whether that will aid the experience or not, and for the most part I think I’ve done quite well to perfect that though wearing this social mask in front of people can make the ones who do know me wonder about the authenticity of the information they think that they know about me, and therefore I must reassure them by providing more.

I love and care for my closest friend a great deal, though I would never reveal who they were except to those who already are.

The point is simple. – What I say and what I mean can be two different things and, unless you know me, how can you be sure that you truly understand what I am trying to express? Furthermore, is reacting, rather than responding, to what has been said, showing the ability to understand more quickly than others or merely the ability to judge raw information close mindedly?

Don’t judge a book by its cover, and don’t judge a quote by its type-face.

Mostly because I’ve had quite a lot of assignment work due in for Uni recently and I haven’t had the time. The lack of ideas on what to write about has been nothing but a hindrance, also.

I do hope to post something (hopefully) interesting soon, though.. (:

(Source: notwhatsseenquestions)

“Why haven’t you blogged recently?”, the fleeting amount of people following me may ask. - Well, the answer comes in two parts.

I’ve returned to the book I started writing a while ago (last year now - 2012), and hope to have it finished by sometime in 2014. so a lot of my time has been spent on slowly adding to the number of pages that I consider adequate of a book worth glancing at. - Though I haven’t spent as much time on that as I’d hoped.

Time is also being poured in to starting, working on, and finishing course work, as well as advancing in video games. - And though I see my book as being a valid excuse, this, I am aware, is not one. (The games.)

The second part of this conundrum is that I’ve not really had much to talk about.. That’s a lie - I’ve had lots of things to talk about, but I’ve usually forgotten what they were by the time I sit down to create topical words.

I do hope to blog more often, but don’t hold me to it. - And when my book is finished I’ll be sure to post a link here too!

I choose to live my life with a large amount of apathy, which does not mean that people are unable to annoy or disturb me, but that I’ve lost the will to care beyond a certain point. This ‘certain point’ however, seems to depend on the situation. If I am the target of a disturbance, or am getting worked up over someone’s actions or words, I will usually do little more than move away, ignore, or tell to be quiet (rudely). When a friend that I am with is the target, though, I find it hard not to act, either by simply reassuring/calming my friend, or by throwing words back at the culprit (usually it’s the first one).

Refusing to care, or doing nothing/little, is not the ideal solution to these problems unfortunately, and violence is less of a good idea than those two.

As previously stated, “Don’t react, respond” has been a philosophy I try to stick with, though I sometimes fail to do so. People don’t usually like to hear this amidst the problems that they’re having at the time, but forgiving/forgetting seems to be the most logical yet hardest solution.

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“Words are the gateways to lies. The more words that are spoken, the more chance that one of them is not as it seems”

It is true that not all words are what they seem, for if they were, sarcasm would not exist. The fact that these spoken tones that take on shape can have so many meanings is because they are all there to be interpreted. Regardless of who created the sentences that have been spoken, it is up to you to understand them, and respond.

My favorite quote is currently; “Don’t react, respond.” Meaning or interpreted, in my mind, that you shouldn’t take things at face-value without first trying to understand them.

Actions, however, also have the power to portray evidence of deceit, depending on what, how, and when the action is seen. People’s movements can tell you a lot about how they’re feelings, but that knowledge also teaches us how to change that which we portray simply by learning from what we see.

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